Teaching the Lost Art of Chivalry

Chivalry . . . . That's a word you don't hear everyday. According to Merriam and Webster, one of the definitions for chivalry is, "an honorable and polite way of behaving especially toward women." I believe that we need to bring back the lost art of chivalry in our culture. I know that some movements desire to eradicate the idea of chivalry, but I believe we as fathers, student pastors, and teachers should foster a culture of young men that embrace the ideas associated with being a gentlemen towards women. 

God made women and men different, and that's a good thing (Gen 1:27; Gen 2:18-25). God made us spiritually equal (Gal 3:28), but functionally we have complementary roles (Eph 5:22-33). Therefore, chivalry is not dead, but it is dormant. I believe we should teach young men how to behave like young men, and teach them how to treat women with politeness, gentleness, and kindness. 

If you ever come to a student ministry event with me, you will hear me constantly uttering the words to our young men, "biblical manhood." Yep, we teach our boys to be men that respect and honor women with their actions. Our culture promotes women as objects of sexuality, and sometimes we as believers have to go against the grain of culture. We should do this by teaching the lost art of chivalry to the young men we influence. Here are three ways to teach the lost art of chivalry.

• Model it. Dr. Reid used to say in his class, "Evangelism is caught more than it is taught." I think this truth could be applied to teaching chivalry to young men. Dad's of daughters and sons, model chivalry to your children with your wife. Open the door for her. Hold her hand. Walk on the dangerous side of traffic. Student Pastors, model chivalry for your students in student ministry. Let the ladies eat first. Hold the door open for the women of the church before and after service. Model it. Demonstrate chivalry throughout your life for the young men you influence to mimic. 
• Make opportunities. Give opportunities with the young men you influence to practice chivalry in various settings. For example, my four year old son holds the door open for his mother and sisters anytime we go to a store. Landon and I have father and son time, and our favorite place to have breakfast is Chick-fil-A. There are times when we walk to the door at the same time as a lady. I take the opportunity for my son to go open the door and hold it open for the lady so she may walk through it. Also, We feed all our students on Wednesday nights. I call on a young man to pray over the food because that will be his role one day when he has a wife if God wills it (some people may have the gift of singleness). Those of us that influence men should think of ways to make opportunities for them to practice chivalry in many environments. 
• Much encouragement. Make a big deal anytime you see a young man being polite, gentle, and kind towards a lady. If you see a young man give up his seat for a woman, go overboard with enthusiasm. That's why I use the words, "biblical manhood" with my son and students. I saw one of our young men at MFuge camp hold the door open for a group of ladies, and I just kept celebrating with him by saying, "Way to practice biblical manhood! Keep it up young man!" By encouraging our young men through words of affirmation, they will be more apt to practice chivalry throughout their lives. Much encouragement should be given to those that we have influence over when they do great things like honoring women by being a gentlemen.

Again, I don't think chivalry is dead. I just think chivalry in this culture is dormant. Those of us that have the ability to influence young men should model it, make opportunities for practice, and give much encouragement to those that God has given us influence over when they do it.