Teaching the Lost Art of Being a Lady

Sometimes when I hear the word "lady," all those books that my English teacher made us read in high school come back to my mind. I think of books like Pride and Prejudice, Great Expectations, Les Miserables, and Jane Eyre. Some may read the title of this blog post and think that I am advocating for a return to big hats, sun umbrellas, and corsets. I am not advocating this, but I am advocating that we teach our young ladies how to be women of character or to be a lady.

I am a father of two young ladies, and I believe we should instill in our little girls the lost art of being a lady. I will provide three areas to teach our young ladies how to grow into godly women. This post is not only for fathers, but may be used by mothers, youth leaders, and those that have influence over the lives of young girls. However, I will be writing on this subject as a father, and therefore, from a father's point of view. Feel free to take these three areas, and modify them to fit your context.

1. Teach your girls to be modest. I believe we should teach our girls to dress appropriately. Modesty seems to be a confused word in today's culture. I don't mean that we can't teach our girls to dress fashionably, but I do mean that we should teach our girls that revealing too much skin, wearing low cut shirts, or high cut shorts are not lady like. In fact, that puts off a completely different message. I want my girls to be confident in the lady that God has graciously made them, and to be secure because they know that they are made in his image (Gen 1:27). I want to teach my girls that they should dress, look, and act in conjunction with 1 Corinthians 10:31, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." This includes the way they dress and look.  
2. Teach your girls to be feminine. I desire to teach my girls that ladies are to act a certain way. My two girls are to act differently than my four year old son. I teach my young girls that they should sit like a lady, look like a lady, and act lady like. I love and encourage my girls to carry their dolls around, tuck their animals in, and pretend to make daddy tea and cake. I want my girls to dress up like princesses, and be kind, gentle, and nurturing. My girls are lady like and still can play T-Ball, wrestle with daddy, and catch fish (even though they don't like to touch the fish). Ultimately, my desire is for my girls to understand they are females, and should act and be taught to be feminine.  
3. Teach your girls by being a godly man. The man of the home should model for his young girls how a man ought to treat a woman. I do this in two ways. First, I have to be a godly man to my wife so that my girls will see a small glimpse of what this looks like in the marriage relationship. I pray they find a way more godly man than me in their future husbands (unless they have the gift of singleness). Second, I teach my girls how a godly man should treat them. I told my oldest daughter on our daddy daughter dance that if a boy did not open the car door for her she should say, "Thank you for asking me to go out with you, but this outing is over." (I know that might sound extreme, but my point was to teach my daughter that she is to be respected by a young suitor). I want my girls to know that God is their first priority in this life, and all other relationship are not. I believe that by attempting to be a godly man before them will help them in growing into the ladies that God has designed them to be.

I believe that we need to teach our young ladies how to be a lady. We should teach them modesty, to be feminine, and model for them the attributes of a Christ follower. I want my daughters to know that God should be their top priority in life, and that they should develop lady like qualities. Yes, they can get dirty and play rough, but I believe the idea of being lady like is a lost teaching, and one that should be embraced and taught to the next generation of young women. I hope this post will help you identify three teachings that we, as fathers, mothers, youth leaders, and those that influence young women, try to recover.